With Mother’s Day coming this weekend I have been thinking about my journey as a Mama. I love being a Mom! It is all I wanted to be from my earliest memories. I think because my parents were foster parents and therefore I had so many babies around to help take care of I found it so fulfilling. However, with foster care one of the terrible downfalls was eventually each of those babies had to leave. My young heart was deeply affected each time. I hated letting go!
When I finally became a mom at age 23 I was so happy. First I had a son who was a true gift from God. Then, God gave me a beautiful gift of a little girl and another gift of a sweet baby boy to round out my family. My joy was complete. That joy does not mean that being a Mom isn’t hard. What I did not realize was a part of being a Mom is that from the moment they are born we are in a process of letting go. I hate letting go!
When they leave the comfort and control of my womb I have to let others hold them and take care of them. Eventually I have to let them stay overnight somewhere else and then go to a school where I am not in charge. With the recent school shooting we all know that letting go of our kids each day is getting harder and harder. I like controlling the atmosphere my kids are in but that becomes increasingly impossible. From the moment they want to pick their own clothes to the moment someone chooses to hurt them we, as moms, feel a deep sense of being out of control. I like being in control!
I loved picking out my daughters clothes as a baby. Pink, frilly, flowers and bonnets. Soon however she had an opinion about all that. Having two brothers made her want to dress more like them. Pink became denim and lace became flannel. I wanted her to be who God made her to be so I had to let go of my picture. She was beautiful either way. A Mom has to pick her battles. We have to give up control of some things that are not worth the fight. But, I like being in control!
Then they went off to College. That is the first BIG letting go. Then comes marriage and letting go of control is a pledge you make as they take their vows. The leaving and cleaving puts a Mom in a whole new hard place. Someone else is suppose to do that now. As a Mom I am just an observer who occasionally may be asked some advice. Advice they may not take. I have to let go of where they live, where they go, who they go with etc… Did I mention that I like being in control and I hate letting go!
That leads to this week. Let’s just say that there still things in my now “in their 30’s” kids lives that I would like to control. Letting go is the only solution. As I cried out to God about this need in my life I asked for a promise that all would be great for them. The problem is that there is no such promise. The only promise that comes close is this one:
I know that “all things” include some not good stuff. This sin-filled world makes sure of that. As I again asked for something that would help me let go I was lead to Philippians 3:1 and what it said did not lead me to the peace I wanted.
WHATEVER HAPPENS??? I don’t know about you but that struck fear into this Mama’s heart. How do I rejoice when “whatever happens” is bad stuff” like wrong choices by them or others who affect them. How in the world do I rejoice about that.
But wait, it does not say to rejoice in bad stuff, it says to rejoice in the Lord! Why? Because He is the source of power, love, and sound judgement (2 Timothy 1:7) He is the God of the impossible (Matthew 19:26) Every name of God proves He is worthy of rejoicing in. (see my prayer challenge) He never lets go!
I can rejoice in the Lord because He has all power and authority (Matthew 28:18). He has everlasting love for all my children (Jeremiah 31:3). I can rejoice in the Lord because ultimately He is in control:
So this Mother’s Day I will choose to rejoice in the Lord whatever happens. I know I will have to chose it because this Mama’s heart will probably not feel it. For this Mother’s Day I will sing a new song that says,
“Oh I’m gonna let it, I’m gonna let it go
Oh ’cause if I trusted, I could move with Your flow
Being carried in the current of Your love
When I lean into Your arms, You’re enough
So, I’m gonna let it
I’m gonna let it go”